By 

Cindy Lou Who Accused Grinch in 1969 


by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, November 30, 2017

Everyone knows about The Grinch’s past: the brooding, the theft, the wrath. But most people choose to remember the generosity. Since the 1957 documentary that featured his conversion from villain to philanthropist, everyone outside Whoville just assumed he’d lived happily ever after.

But within town, there were dark rumors and innuendo. Talk of secrets and goings on at the mall.

As part of an ongoing series, this outlet has uncovered records that show that Ms. Lou Who, now 62 and living in the neighboring town of Hawtch-Hawtch as a beekeeper, filed a complaint in 1969 that she’d been pursued romantically by The Grinch when she was just 14.

The police report, while odd with it’s rhyming couplets, is consistent with the local dialect of Whoville in the 1960’s.

It reads:

“He came to the mall,
he came to her school.
He asked her to dinner,
he acted quite cool.

No, no, she replied,
my mother would worry.
Do not be afraid,
I’ll have you home in a hurry.

So off they fled,
to his quiet country house,
where he took off his clothes;
he took off her blouse.”

Not much else is known about the encounter and the local police chief  Marvin K. Mooney, known to be a big recipient of Mr. Grinch’s generous contributions to his political campaigns over the years, never pursued the complaint, saying it was without merit.

Chief Mooney died in 2009 and could not be reached for comment, but was quoted at the time as saying, “Mr. Grinch is a fine, upstanding citizen of Whoville who has fought diligently over the years for the values of Who’s everywhere. He loves children and would never do them any harm.”

Mayor Augustus May Who put out a statement this morning supporting Mr. Grinch saying, “Mr. Grinch is the most moral man I know. He believes what we believe. That we were all created by the Great Who and that we all have a moral duty to protect what is ours. Besides, this was a long time ago, and he did nothing illegal. He liked young girls is all, but if you look at your WhoBook, you’ll see that Joseph did too. Besides, this is all just fake news.”

Ms. Lou Who declined to comment for this story.

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AngryDave
About me

I’m a writer, director, photographer, cinematographer and art director. A little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I’m a creative guy so it’s not unusual to be a bit of a crank and particular about….well, everything. I’m a professed slacker with a pension for excessive creative output.

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