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by David Todd McCarty | Tuesday, November 15, 2016

I had to make a change. It was all getting too dark. Too angry. So little hope. I was running full force down a dark alley with no choice but to run headfirst into the brick wall at the end.

I’m looking for a way back out now from the dark alley and I’ll attempt to start with people. Too much time on my own perhaps. It’s hard because I’m an introvert and too many people make me uncomfortable.

I’ve embarked on a new journey towards a mystic’s understanding of Christianity. I’ve pretty much walked away from God in recent years because the theology I was taught seemed hateful, bigoted, ridiculous and petty. But what I’m reading is pretty fascinating stuff and nothing like what we were taught as children with God as this big scary guy with a clipboard marking down your short comings. I don’t understand it enough to explain it yet, but suffice it to say I’m interested. That’s a start. If that doesn’t work out I might try Buddhism. For now I’m gonna give God another shot. See if He’s got anything up his sleeve?

I need some sort of hope.

The whole concept of Angry Dave, while entertaining to many of you, and often far too comfortable for me, seems unsustainable, at least in its current incarnation. Not to get too nerdy, but I felt a bit like Luke Skywalker, torn between the Force and the Dark side. I was careening too quickly towards the Dark Side and it wasn’t good. Some of you were cheering me on the way a crowd might encourage a man on a ledge to “jump” simply for the spectacle of it all. And I can create quite a spectacle, I’m sure. But no more.

That doesn’t mean I won’t still have strong opinions about social justice, religion, politics or etiquette. But I’m going to tone down the rhetoric and try to hold my rage in check.

I will continue writing, directing and taking pictures. But I have to get out of the instant feedback loop which has become far too addictive to me. I still look at my phone out of habit, but Facebook was a huge problem. I’ve deleted it. It was too constant. Radio Angry Dave broadcasting and responding 18 hours a day. Can’t imagine how that would be a problem. Sigh.

In the meantime, I’ll be posting pieces here about subjects that interest me. I hope to retain my humor without maybe quite so much anger.

Join me.

Stop by and comment so I don’t feel so alone.

And please share this with my friends on social media so they know where to find me.

— Angry Dave

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 by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, August 25, 2016

Dear Men:

We have recently concluded an exhaustive study, including numerous discussions with persons of the female gender, and have determined that the once hopeful program, “Digital Genitalia Distribution in Order to Influence and Entice Women” through the act of sending pictures of your penis via digital means, has not only been unsuccessful, it has actually been a determent to our goal of attracting women in general.

Among the top respondents of the survey were the following:

“Gross.”

“Ewwwww.”

“I don’t know how you live with those things.”

“Seriously? That?”

The good news is, despite the often repulsion that occurs due to the sight of our genitalia, they still seem to be interested in us as a species, so all is not lost.

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by David Todd McCarty | Friday, July 15, 2016

I’ve been a lot of thinking lately about a certain corned beef sandwich, preferably grilled with butter, on a nice sturdy rye, with mustard and melted swiss. There’s a perfect pickle there as well. It’s a fantasy that is currently knocking about in my head.

I’m on day six of what is a planned two week fast. I say planned because with these kind of things, it’s like the people in the rooms say, “You have to take it one day at a time.” I recognize the truth in this statement. I can’t think about tomorrow or next week. I just have to get through today.

No food. No alcohol. No caffeine. I gave up cigarettes almost five years ago and never picked them up again, so that’s one less thing. I currently subsist on a concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. It’s a recipe developed by some nut who named it the Master Cleanse. It’s a thing. It’s not new. I’m not a disciple, just using it at the moment.

The first time I fasted was almost five years ago. I was on a shoot in Miami and at the end of the shoot the producer met me in the bar of this beautiful steakhouse we’d been shooting in. I was having a vodka, my third or fourth, and was getting ready to switch over to wine before ordering my steak dinner right there at the bar. He had a beer. He began telling me that he used to be fat. Had health problems from it. Then he discovered this juice fasting concept and lost fifty pounds. Got off his medications. Felt great. I was listening with half an ear, like you do when someone is telling you about their dreams, or trying to recap the plot of a book they just finished.

“That’s nice,” you think. “Why are you bothering me with this?”

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by David Todd McCarty | Tuesday, December 1, 2015

There is nothing funnier in the world than seeing a grown man pretending to be a professional athlete. You’ve seen them. Pushing 40. Beginnings of a pot belly. Wearing the jersey with someone else’s name on the back. Like any minute they’re going to get the call, “Jimmy, we need you!”

The reality is that fans of the Big Four: Football, Baseball, Basketball and Hockey are the least offensive. Generally, they simply wear a jersey, albeit with no pads or helmet. Even run of the mill fans wear a hat, t-shirt or jacket emblazoned with the logo. That’s pretty normal the world over.

But the jerseys are still funny to me. “Look at me” wearing someone else’s uniform, only fat, slow, old, wearing penny loafers and khakis.

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by David Todd McCarty | Wednesday, November 25, 2015

There’s no better feeling in the world than walking out of a proper barbershop having just had a wonderful experience and looking and feeling your best. It’s transcendent. It’s a wonderful experience—when done right anyway.

The problem, for me, is I hate taking the time necessary to get a haircut, let alone a shave. I have to stop what I’m doing, drive to the barber, potentially wait as much as an hour or more, just for the opportunity to get my 20 minute haircut. I don’t enjoy the community of hanging around in a barbershop shooting the shit and arguing about nonsense. It’s not my style.

Even with the resurgence of vintage culture brought about by the hipster scene, it’s increasingly difficult to find a decent barbershop, especially outside of major urban areas. In 2011, it was the fastest growing business in America, and there has been a resurgence in barbershops for men. But I fear that it was just a trend and when the hipster grooming thing ends, so will the interest in barbering.

It was such a big trend, that traditional salons were getting into the mix, putting in barbershops to compete for the male customer. But I’ve found it’s not really the same thing.

Let me quickly walk you through what a proper Barbershop looks like to me.

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by David Todd McCarty | Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

The world has gone mad. There’s no denying this, but if we can gain any solace from our current predicament, it’s that it’s not the first time, and unfortunately, it won’t be the last. We have a history of madness in the family if you will.

In the Christian tradition this is known as original sin. The fall of man. The point where we left the Garden and were broken forever. Other cultures have their own origin story, but here in the West, where a majority still identify with a Judeo-Christian faith, we left the safety of The Garden and entered a world of violence and madness.

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by David Todd McCarty | Sunday, November 15, 2015

I recently purchased a Fitbit, a wristband computer that records your steps, heart rate, etc. If records a ridiculous amount of information and displays it all in these cool graphics on your phone. Nothing like a little mild OCD to help motivate you to lose weight.

Walk a mile. Check your phone. Climb the stairs. Check your phone.

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