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by David Todd McCarty | Tuesday, October 6, 2015

 

It’s scarf season motherfuckers. That’s right. I’m breaking out my scarves and there’s nothing you can do about it. Black ones, grey ones, yellow ones. Linen, wool, cotton. Long, wide, frayed, infinite loop, keffiyeh. I’ve got em all. And yet, I just bought two more.

I’ve always said that fat men love scarves, but that’s probably not even accurate. A lot of fat men are constantly hot, so maybe a scarf is not the thing for them. What I should say is that this fat man loves scarves, and really, that’s all that matters.

I love scarves because they go with everything. They draw your eye to the face, as opposed to the oversized midsection. They hide and disguise in very clever ways. They are, in effect, quite magical.

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by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, August 27, 2015

 

I don’t do cards. Not for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, baptisms, funerals or Christmas. Never did. I don’t believe in them.

In 1996 I met a woman who didn’t believe in cards either. We were married a year later. I’m not saying that was the only reason, but certainly a contributing factor.

She also liked John Denver, so there’s that.

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