Follow Me

Close
By
by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, November 19, 2015

We love lists in this country. We like to make them. We like to read them. If this wasn’t true click-farms like BuzzFeed and Huffington Post wouldn’t post so damn many of them. The lists don’t actually have to be that good because it’s all about the headline. If you click on the headline, they get paid. They don’t really give a shit if you read it or not. Actually that’s not true. They want you to forward to a friend with the phrase, “I can’t stop laughing.”

These are a small sample I found on just one page of BuzzFeed. These are all real.

24 Things That Happen Every Time You Get Drunk.
11 Reasons Why Christmas Is Actually The Scariest Holiday
24 Reasons Why Netflix Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life.
14 Celebrity Names You ALWAYS Have To Google.
11 Signs You’re At A Filipino Party.

Apparently Top Tens were so 2007 and they wanted to appeal to those wacky millennials with their offbeat sense of humor and fancy shoes. So they tend to mix it up a bit.

Eleven seems to be a big number for lists. That makes sense I guess. It’s basically a Top Ten with an extra one thrown in. Maybe a Spinal Tap reference. They go to eleven.  But that seems too retro for the current crop of hipsters. Or has it gotten old enough to be cool? I’m not sure. Eleven is a funny number, though. Just ask the Scottish [WATCH VIDEO].

Twenty-four also seemed to come up quite a bit but that seemed more of a mystery to me. Is it a Jack Bauer reference? The number hours in a day? Simply an overachieving writer? It’s hard to know what evil machinations reside in the minds of BuzzFeed editors.

So, I decided to come with my own list. I can’t really speak intelligently about the current crop of celebrities and I’m not all that hip on the latest pop culture references, so I stayed away from any of that. They say to write what you know, so as far as I can tell, these are:

THE 11 WORST PEOPLE IN AMERICA

read more