Follow Me

Close
By

 

by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, November 30, 2017

In a stunning new development, in what has been a month of developments, a third elf has come forward to accuse Santa Claus of sexual harassment and retaliatory behavior. The yet unidentified elf has come forward with claims that Mr. Claus made unwanted sexual advances while they were flying over the Horn of Africa sometime on Christmas Eve in 2011. It was not clear whether the elf involved was male or female, or really whether or not there is such a thing.

The elf went public this week, after complaining to HR, in what they were assured was a confidential meeting, only to be subsequently demoted to painting faces on Chucky dolls, a more or less discontinued item.

The elf’s lawyer, Yukon Cornelius, claims that his client was retaliated against after Mrs. Claus discovered the incident and wouldn’t allow the elf to continue working Christmas Eve duty.

Ignatius Thistlewhite, lawyer for the Clause Corporation vehemently denied the accusations calling them “baseless and without merit.” He countered, “This is merely the case of a disgruntled elf who is trying to attack a beloved childhood figure. The truth is, this was a substandard elf who was demoted for poor performance.”

read more